I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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