did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
