I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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