Three words: puerto rican gang bang
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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