So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
