Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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