Just cropdusted the office
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
