How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
