dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
