dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
