we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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