Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
