I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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