Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
