Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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