my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
