You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
