He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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