I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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