I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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