So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
