pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
