i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
