I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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