suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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