Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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