I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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