I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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