To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
