never play flip cup with pint glasses
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
