She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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