So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
