Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
