were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize