I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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