Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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