He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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