The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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