____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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