And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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