The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
