I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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