I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
