I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
