oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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