I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
