The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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