Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize