We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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