some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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