allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
