If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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