i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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