He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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