You really coming over, don't trick.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
