my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
