i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
