Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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