if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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